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[Jul. 1st, 2008|12:17 pm] |
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I want to get over Sam for my birthday. That is what I want. I still love her and worry about her, and I don't know how to stop. I'm never going to get to spend time with Carrie. Wal-Mart sucks. This house sucks. This city sucks. Did you know you get a ticket if you don't mow your yard? How 'bout that. I don't know what's made me like this. It seems to happen, what, once a month? And I always seem to forget about it until it happens again. I feel like a circle. I liked geometry. It was so easy. I want to feel needed again. I want to care for someone again. I want to be happy again. I don't know why I want it to be Sam. I don't know why I can't want it to be another lady. Maybe because she was so awesome. I could make her laugh. I could make her smile. She made me very happy. I hope she is very happy. I hope her jackass boyfriend realizes how awesome she is. Warcraft needs to be up so I can distract myself. But noooooo. They have to do crap to it. I can't go to sleep because the fixit men will be returning to fixit our rotted retarded toilet. There was something covering the freezer hole this time. Maybe if we leave the shelf empty it won't super freeze. I'm almost positive I wasn't like this before her. It's been too long for me to remember though. My memory is weird. It chooses what's important and remembers those things. I don't seem to care about anything but her. And Carrie. And I think I only care about Carrie because I want to replace Sam. That isn't right. But I don't know if it is true. Carrie is an awesome lady too. She is a busy lady though. I'm not like I used to be. I can't think of what to say to people anymore when they are down. I've become selfish. I will think awful things, and then I think I've become a monster. I think when Rob wakes up I'll get his super glue and make my bag. Oh, did I tell you? The theater here is having some little contest thingy where you make a Fandango bag that is a super hero to promote The Dark Knight. So of course I'm going to make a Batman bag. And we saw the ones they already had. They were craaaaaaaaaaaap. Like construction paper and markers and shit. That's not a Fandango bag. Fandango bags are retarded, and have goofy shit on them. Mine isn't going to be retarded. But it will be better than those nub bags. And I probably spent more in materials than the two movie tickets are worth. I like making things though. Carrie's TCBY hat was thrown away, so I made her one. I don't think she cared for it as much as I hoped though. It was just a hat with white out on it. I wish I had a picture of my cardboard armor. Well maybe not. She was very pretty as a moogle. Ugh, I think I'm done now. I'm going to see if WoW is back. |
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[Jun. 9th, 2008|10:42 pm] |
I have Frostmourne. It is heavy, so you need not be afraid of me yet. Soon though, I will be able to wield it easily. And then you can be afraid. =)
I love it! It is beautiful!! I would marry it, but it does not have boobies. |
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[May. 15th, 2008|01:13 am] |
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I am scared. |
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[May. 5th, 2008|11:11 pm] |
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I miss Sam. I wish I had handled our breakup better. I was close to her, for a long while. And then I wasn't. And I miss that. I miss her friendship. I hate that I handled it so poorly. I don't know why it still eats me up after this long. |
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| Shame on me. |
[Apr. 30th, 2008|06:33 pm] |
There's an old saying in Tennessee--I know it's in Alabama, probably in Tennessee--that says: "Fool me once, shame on...shame on you. Fool me...you can't get fooled again."
Once I talk to Sam again, I'm going to be done with her. So soon after I made the post that I was going to give her a second chance, huh. How 'bout that. |
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[Apr. 29th, 2008|02:46 am] |
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I have decided to give Sam a second chance. |
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[Apr. 27th, 2008|02:11 am] |
"What was done to me created me. It is the basic principle of the universe, that each action will have an equal and opposing reaction."
"Is that how you see it? Like an equation?"
"What was done to me was monstrous!"
"And they created a monster."
I realize now that I've been a jerk to Sam. She put herself in a position where I could be mean to her, and I took it. I think what she did was bad. I can understand why she thought the way she did, and I will not relinquish the idea that it is her fault she lost me. But I am not a monster. Just because she hurt me does not mean I should hurt her. So after we talked tonight, and I realized I was being a big fat jerk, I called her back and apologized. We decided that the next time I call her it will be to let her know if I want her or not. I just need to figure out if I want her. She seems to love me still, and want to be with me still. I don't know. There are several factors affecting this, and I think all I can do is wait and see how things turn out. |
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| Question: |
[Apr. 26th, 2008|10:05 am] |
My recent lady, who happens to be named Sam, left me because she thought all I was after was sex and then I was done with her. She came to Tuscaloosa on a Friday for the A-Day Game. We went out to eat, helped our friend shop for a cookout, and then she and I spent the evening together. That morning we went to Dollar General and Burger King and everything was fine. Then we got to the game. I do not do well in the sun. I was in the sun a loooot that Saturday. I had not prepared for it at all, because I never do until I get burned once every year. The sun drained me that day. It made me hot and tired. I was not happy and lovey like I had been the day before, and Sam thought it was because I was tired of her. So when she left she was leaving me for good but didn't tell me that until the next day. And when she tried to tell me it was because we had sex and I was done with her and I told her that could not be, because I was the same Saturday morning, she said she just came down to "scratch an itch"--to see if she still loved her ex. She called me Thursday, and apologized for thinking that. She says she knows in her heart I'm not like that. And now for my question:
Should I just be happy she loves me and wants to be with me?
Because I am not. Kourtney accused me of only wanting my first Sam back for sex, and I still hold that against her. That is probably the worst thing one can say of me. I feel that it is not my fault her heart was broken, because I loved her and I was just sick Saturday. She let her past awful relationships be her guide for the way I was acting. And for some reason, I'm not letting it go. I think if she loves and wants me as much as I thought she did, she is going to have to show me. She is going to have to win me back. I've no intention of doing anything. If you read this, please let me know what you think. Thanks! |
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[Apr. 18th, 2008|11:24 pm] |
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I can't escape the endless vortex of sucking! I feel like there is a big hole in me and that it looks like I have the warlock gear that looks like a voidwalker where the black vortex is behind you. I have that in the hole in my chest. There isn't a real hole there. But the lady that plugged it up fell through. So now I have two ladies there instead of one. You'd think it would be just the one! I thought it would be. But nooooo! How ridiculous is that? I don't think I'm going to Burger King either. I shouldn't care though, because I should be going to bed so I can get up and go to stupid work. I think I still like Carrie. I'm not going to do anything, though. I'm going to wait for a girl who wants me. And I did go to Burger King and just came back and saw I was not done posting this. I'll stop now because I'm not as drunk anymore. |
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| Omega Kimbo |
[Mar. 7th, 2008|01:16 pm] |
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So, I've been thinking of starting up my final Stick Slick. Want to give me no excuse for delaying? Awesome! I need some info from some of you before I can start. Not really info. A sword. And a bankai for said sword. Don't worry if you can't draw. I just need some idea and I'll draw it. Joe, Rob, Kir, I need you! Matt has already provided me with a sword and said bankai. You are going to the Next Dimension where light tricks won't cut it, so get to making me a sword! |
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[Feb. 22nd, 2008|12:12 am] |
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Almost there. |
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[Oct. 12th, 2007|02:39 am] |
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I am: |
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kimbomaru's journal